Lifestyle Laugher Gifts

"I thought you said you were watching your weight!"

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

"Eureka!!" "Guess again, Einstein."

'Don't get your hopes up, I'm only laughing excessively...'

'Sorry. Your accident insurance doesn't cover that kind of incident.'

'As a boss you'll find me hard, but fair. Actually, that's only half true.'

'Never go berry pickin' on an empty stomach.'

"Oh, I'm sorry, Berger. I must have accidentally pressed the 'Sycophant' button."

"A cashier told me to have a nice day and I didn't. Am I liable or can I sue her?"

'Just a little off the top.'

"You've been around here longer than I have. What are 'congressional ethics'?"

Coast to coast.

'A nice feature of this office, the view from that window won't distract you from your work.'

'I said, I think I know whey you're finding it lonely at the top.'

Jury Bribes.

'But we've got laws on the books now that we can't enforce!'

'Litigate not, least ye be litigated against!'

'Don't tell me we live in a litigious society... I ought to sue you for saying that!'

'We're looking for a mother figure.'

Escaping surgery.

'I drank to a lawyer's health, and now he's slapped me with a malpractice suit.'

'Never ever will I move by train again.'

"You bite me again and I'll sue."

'Well I'll be damned, you got me on a technicality.'

"That's OK. I'll get the next one."

"Yes, they offer free delivery. But when an on-line seller laughs, does their belly shake like a bowl full of jelly?"

'Both prosecution and defense must submit any unwritten laws in writing.'

'I don't teach my students about the Bill of Rights any more -- it just makes them unruly.'

'Mine is a rags to riches story. Actually, it's more like an off-the-rack to a $20 billion family hedge fund story.'

'People say that 'Money Talks'. Guys, I'd love to hear some.'