Daily Life Disruptor Pillows

Broken since March

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

Guru.

"And to think all these years you've worried about some boy wonder taking over your job."

"Here's what you wanted – a strategy to live abundantly, build capital, surpass your peers and disappoint your heirs."

"Thanks Mum, but I prefer to use twitter to enlarge the microcosms of daily life."

Gross! Get you external hard drive off the dinner table!

Man painting over a computer screen.

"Our specials can also be accessed at www.todaysspecials.com."

"You majored in cyber hacking and institutional sabotage?. . . Hired!"

What If?

'That's typical of him, to ruin our first decent night out in ages.'

'Well. I gotta admit, she did say in her profile that she's an old-fashioned girl!'

"Wait, it's Thursday? I thought it was Tuesday! The first day of the rest of my life was supposed to be Wednesday!!"

"Nothing for me, thanks."

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz - 'How did my life get this dull?'

"Pawn to King Four."

"I consider myself to be a counterproductive member of society."

"The air I breathe is filthy..."

'They tried to GAG her but they can NEVER stop her 'dance of neglect on the ward'!'

A man exits his house to a clapboard.

Texting or no texting?

"Voila!! For the Lady, Seafood Linguine, and I believe Sir ordered the Chef's Surprise?"

"How about one-ish? I love the way it sounds."

PC and The Web is the wrecking ball.

Occupy crunch

'Any way I could play through?'

People laughing in the supermarket.

I have laryngitis. I lost my voice screaming because the internet generation is so self-centered. You write self-centered blogs, internet sites, and now you tweet. You are navel-gazing narcissists. Aaaah. Getting yelled at by a sign. Tap tap tap tap.

This Amount of Computer Code

'Miss Jones, those pants have got to go. I can't have my secretary looking like a boy.'

Annoying computer user.

"That's the first time he's ever done anything spontaneous!"

A mouse pops out of a toaster

TV Kill