Cynical Snackers Gifts

Shortly Thereafter, They Would Make Sweeping Changes To Their Policies.

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

'I would kill for a truffle.'

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

Breakfast surreal.

"Politicians can't make the trains run on time but they never miss the gravy train."

'Hi! I'm a freshman -- when do I get corrupted?'

'Let's face it, we're nothing but a puppet government.'

'We've been through thick and thin. Tell me about the thin again.'

'He asked me if I wanted to put anything on my burger, so I had a tenner each way.'

"I just had a terrifying glimpse into our snack."

"It's a game changer. . . carrots and hummous batons but we've managed to make them out of sugar."

No more bribes - today.

"My smarthome just sent me a text saying it's a mess, so it doesn't feel like having visitors right now."

Man walks into a restaurant with a sign saying "Billy Bob's Diner - We don't let the federal government tell us what to do with our tainted beef".

"Thanks for bringing the party mix, but. . ."

Cost of living - 'Thank God we're dead.'

'You can eat whatever you like on this diet, and here's a list of whatever you like.'

'The dietary exchange for this food is 3 days of unrelenting remorse.'

"With these electricity prices we can't afford cooking anymore. Imagine eating sausage-favored popsicles."

'I couldn't get the beans out of the toaster.'

'Vote Cameron, get Brussels.'

'I've coughed up more attractive things than this snack.'

Wilders breaking election promises.

'Are you genetically modified? - Then you'll love our G.M. food.'

Diet.

'Not ME... I'm watching my cholesterol!'

Vegan

"Tasty and nutritious? Any five year old knows that's a contradiction in terms."

'Glad to heart it. We're recruiting.'

HELLth-care Insurance

'Making these snacks low-fat was great because substituting sweetener for fat made them even more addictive.'