Cynical Cherub Pillows

'An they have the nerve to call this heaven!'

Do Not Resuscitate

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

"Seriously, just pull my finger ..."

"Since he's been a plagiarist, committed perjury and runs a Ponzi scheme, trust can be an issue."

'I suppose they call it the rat race because only rats ever seem to win.'

'No spell-check?? And you call this HEAVEN??'

"Lets get 100% behind the boss."

'The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. That's a wonderful mission statement.'

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

Someday

Utopia - a necessarily restrictive and conformist social structure.

When Stupid People Get an Idea

Gullibility Test $1.00.

'How do people without a middle name know when the're in trouble?'

"She's about to get him on the rebound."

Will Self deprecation

"...He broke your heart, did he? Well, I can't say I didn't see this coming!"

'I make certain all my clients are pessimists...they don't expect to win.'

"Do I still believe in Santa Claus? I don't even believe in Congress."

"Oh well - same shit, different day. . .!"

"He's a widowed eighty-year-old billionaire with a 'Do Not Resuscitate' tattoo...what's not to like?"

Once a politician is elected, his work is over.

'That's it?'

'It's a deal -- I'll introduce a bill to bail out your country club, and you'll introduce a bill to bail out my country club!'

"Nah...not really...he's only won one game!" (Clever dog).

'According to the voice-stress analyzer, he's not going to lower taxes.'

'Don't worry about a thing, my Mom doesn't believe in spanking.'

Born Cynical,,,,

"...and, if elected, I promise never to tell another lie...oh, there I go again!"

"This looks cool, Mum, a university offering a degree course in Greed."

"Where's that special cartridge we use to print campaign promises...the one with disappearing ink?"

Invent Sales Day

"This looks good."