Cynic Seeker Pillows

Politicians never leave footprints in the sand of time - they're too busy erasing them.

"He loves his wife, likes his job and is always happy. Me, I 'm not happy if I'm not unhappy."

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

"Since he's been a plagiarist, committed perjury and runs a Ponzi scheme, trust can be an issue."

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

'I suppose they call it the rat race because only rats ever seem to win.'

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

"Lets get 100% behind the boss."

'The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. That's a wonderful mission statement.'

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

Famous Oxymorons...

Utopia - a necessarily restrictive and conformist social structure.

When Stupid People Get an Idea

Will Self deprecation

'Hi! I'm a freshman -- when do I get corrupted?'

"Politicians can't make the trains run on time but they never miss the gravy train."

"...He broke your heart, did he? Well, I can't say I didn't see this coming!"

'You've got bad news? Hey, that's good news!'

'So to sum up this lengthy discussion: at the next meeting we'd prefer one platter of Brie and grape, one of honey glazed ham, and one of roast beef with wild horseradish - and NO cheese and pickle.'

"Do I still believe in Santa Claus? I don't even believe in Congress."

"Oh well - same shit, different day. . .!"

"He's been up all night and fell asleep at the wheel."

Once a politician is elected, his work is over.

"Diogenes, this is Washington, D.C. It's probably the worst place to look for an honest man."

'The dip in profits here is attributed to the purchase of this projector and screen.'

"He's a widowed eighty-year-old billionaire with a 'Do Not Resuscitate' tattoo...what's not to like?"

Diogenes and tourists

'Here - The Royal Safety Council said you have to wear this.'

'That's it?'

'This model comes with F.S.H - P.S. - E.W. - C.C. - A.B.S and B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.'

'Let's face it, we're nothing but a puppet government.'

"Nah...not really...he's only won one game!" (Clever dog).