Cycling Crusader Gifts

'Notice how the TV goes dim when we stop pedalling!'

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

Caged Businessman

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

Lanes Closed for the Hell of It

"It started as a crusade. Now it's just a commute."

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

"I finally got tenure by publishing a research paper funded by a grant about subsidies."

Nervous Student

Oil shock.

"You don't have anything planned for the next 196 years, do you?"

It's a Dog's life

'Of course you're overworked and underpaid! Didn't you read the fine print in your employee's contract?'

"Miles... I'm going abstract!"

"We've got a class-action suit if I ever saw one."

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The Awful Lawfuls Chapter 8

'What's all this pet's rights stuff addressed to you?'

'It's almost time to get the cross-country skis out and dust them off.'

The Glass Floor

"I'm bored: Let's go and swoop over cyclists' heads and scare the heck out of them..."

'Well, I'm off to the crusades, happy mother's day!'

'Good thing we're not litigious.'

'It's true what they say - we're a nation of dog lovers!'

'My problem is that I'm number one in my field and I have no place to go but down.'

'I'm afarid your son has all the classic elements of geekism,minus the technical expertise.'

'That concludes the list of students with outstanding grades. And now for those of you with outstanding student loan payments...'

'I don't think Ed wants to make the crusades come alive for the kids. I think Ed is afraid of the kids.'

"Do you mind if I wait for a male superhero?"

Moo! Honk! Don't stoop to their level Henry!

"I don't object to their right to roam, I just wish they would wipe their feet."