Cybercrime Aficionado Gifts

"Millions at risk from identity theft - good thing I'm safe."

"They say you're a cybercriminal."

Reporter at cybercrime conference asks: 'Should we be focussing on this area when we surely face a greater threat from the Daleks?'

"Serious life hack, dude."

"Confounded hackers."

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

"On a positive note, he's not our boss. He's the guy who stole our boss's identity."

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

"Don't editorialize."

A Little Extra

"Number 2. Step forward please."

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

"Get used to verifications. In the court of the internet, you are presumed a robot until proven otherwise."

"These targeted ads are getting out of hand."

'Keep an eye on that one. He looks like a sketchy character to me.'

"I think retrieving the info from that harddrive might be a little tricky."

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

'The police is looking for a teenager who reads books... I bet they'll never solve this case!'

"Are you sure you updated the anti-virus software?"

"They've solved the cause of death of Richard III."

'With the kind cooperation of the underworld, we present live, for the first time on TV, an actual holdup.'

"This is Alexander. He’ll be heading up our hacking division."

"Take your time, sir. Tell me if you can see the thief."

'It's a foolproof computer network, sir, that no one can break into, not even a kid.'

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

Robot Robber

Gangster's To-Do List

'Make it look like an accident.'

Ignorance of the Law

IT security.

'I think I set the security level, on my anti virus software, too high. Whenever I access anything it is automatically deleted.'

'Was Monty the culprit? Had he fixed a horse race? He couldn't remember.'