Cybercrime Fanatic Gifts

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

"Keep your soul. We only want to hack your data now."

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'Mommy -- Jimmy just wrote his first computer virus!'

Robot Robber

'I think I set the security level, on my anti virus software, too high. Whenever I access anything it is automatically deleted.'

'We'll have Bubba here check to see if we've idiot-proofed your computer.'

"What happened to the good old days when people just breached contracts?'

'If a hacker steals all my information from my health records do they keep my health problems too?'

Woman rushing her computer to the doctor.

"Infecting their computers with the Pillage&Plunder Virus just doesn't give the same satisfaction as actually doing it."

"Oh, I forgot that you missed the meeting. Our data security team added some new protection when accessing patient data files."

'We've given up on anti-virus software in favour of this!'

"This is a special place we have for phishing scammers!"

'Geek computer hackers wouldn't have survived a week at MY West Point!'

"I'm getting old. . . I only got 17 hate comments!"

"We're cyber criminals, Barnes, NOT common criminals. Go get cleaned up and look like you're tech-savvy."

"Millions at risk from identity theft - good thing I'm safe."

'You need a better password. Everybody will be able to guess you password as 'woof'.'

"It's a new signal to specify that we don't need Robin."

'Your honor, no weapons or violence were involved, since my client's breaking and entering were done online.'

Super Highwayman.

"Sir, the William Tell burglar has struck again!"

Computer Downloads.

Organized Crime.

'Great! Our client will be expecting you between the 13th and 14th floor!'

Cyber Theft

Put your nude photos on the internet! Confidentiality assured!

"Don't open that email! Oh... too late."

"How did you ever find me?"

Reporter at cybercrime conference asks: 'Should we be focussing on this area when we surely face a greater threat from the Daleks?'

"Billy has become quite active in class sharing."

"Well, this is the moment we've been waiting for - the hacker who stole our identities just got hacked by another hacker who thought he was hacking us."