Cyber Crime Fan Gifts

"We're cyber criminals, Barnes, NOT common criminals. Go get cleaned up and look like you're tech-savvy."

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

Batman at the Maternity Ward

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'What worried me most is identity theft.'

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

'I haven't spent a day in jail since I got rid of my lawyer and hired a spinmeister.'

'Mommy -- Jimmy just wrote his first computer virus!'

'Not much cop are you!'

'We'll have Bubba here check to see if we've idiot-proofed your computer.'

"Embezzlement is now called virtual bank robbery."

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'

'If a hacker steals all my information from my health records do they keep my health problems too?'

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

Superhero with Acrophobia

"Infecting their computers with the Pillage&Plunder Virus just doesn't give the same satisfaction as actually doing it."

For the last time, officer, I'm absolutely, positively sure it was number four.

'I'm hoping to get into Crime Sprees.'

Police T.V. Appeal, "It's the new softy softy approach!"

'First Lady Lettuce goes missing...'

'Look, Dad! It's a masked, super hero.'

"Yes, but what I really want to do is write children's books."

"The weeds - I want 'em whacked."

"Oh, I forgot that you missed the meeting. Our data security team added some new protection when accessing patient data files."

'We've given up on anti-virus software in favour of this!'

Decision on the flip of a coin...

'Okay, I'll give you the money, but this could negatively affect your credit rating.'

Man sees his double in ID parade. Policeman says: 'Please indicate which of these men stole your identity.'

New York City, the Bronx, and another successful Vice Squad raid comes to wraps (real vices used for arresting criminals).

'I wouldn't do that if I were you, mister. This saloon is made entirely of ninjas.'

"Do you recognise the giraffe who hit you?"

Good Mop, Bad Mop.