Cybercrime Enthusiasts Gifts

"Bad news, Milton. Some hacker broke into our files, and mixed our fresh-water fish with our salt-water fish."

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

Police film evidence

"It says 'beware of robot dog.'"

"These targeted ads are getting out of hand."

'All I did was to connect an artificial heart to artificial legs, to an artificial kidney, to...'

"This is Alexander. He’ll be heading up our hacking division."

"Are you sure you updated the anti-virus software?"

'It's a foolproof computer network, sir, that no one can break into, not even a kid.'

Robot Robber

"Yes, I'm a superhero. I'm not attractive, muscular or charming because I work in the 'cyber crimes' division."

'What ever happened to that persnickety inspector?'

Bank Robbery Statistics

'Trust you, Filkins, to harp on the ONE TINY FLAW in the online global infrastructure.' (Technology dependent on electricty)

"So you are the data protection supervisor of the German government?"

"Sorry, your password must have at least nine characters, with both letters and numbers."

'Stay clear, I'm wiping my computer data before I get rid of it!'

"I gotta log off, guys - I just encountered some malicious spyware."

"I hate when this happens."

To insure Rodney's safe websurfing, Thelma sets her own parental controls.

"Rexie was just a click away from securing his owner a risk-free, high return investment, and a tummy rub for himself..."

"We began with a hip replacement and just sort of riffed off that."

"...all this time Timmy is spending in cyberspace is beginning to affect him."

Don't use your dog's name as a password

'The bad news is that I've forgotten the password for my encrypted flash drive.'

"We don't share your information with anyone. Plus, nobody listens to us anyway."

"You want to throw off the hackers, so put something with 'CAT' in the title."

"Our company has been hit by a data breach...now everyone will know my real age!"

'Your acceptance is tentative until we can rule on the question of your knowingly using pirated software.'

"Who the hell is Dixie?"

"Your majored in hacking and organizational sabotage - and speak Russian? You're hired!"