Cyberchondria Sufferer Gifts

"I think I've got analysis paralysis."

"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."

Internet Cafe.

Library Computer Center: Cybrarian

'I hope what I have isn't catching.'

'I checked my symptoms on the internet and I think I might be dead!'

"Apparently reading about cancer can give you cancer!"

Palm Reading

"I looked up my symptoms on the Internet and it said I might get old!"

"Erik does most of his plundering online these days"

'Good to see you, Doc! I wonder if you could take a look at my left upper arm that hurts when I do this?'

'I'm convinced I've got page 68 of my medical dictionary, doctor!'

Palm Top Readings

'There's nothing wrong with you that a couple placebos won't cure.'

'I don't feel that bad.'

Witch Online

Love Hate Computer Relationship

"Now that you have eaten from the tree of information technology..."

A prediction.

"According to this website my symptoms show that I'm dead!"

Type A Flu.

'Give me the name of your first girlfriend, first car, and first pet!'

'Well, you are one lucky hypochondriac. There's a generic placebo for your condition.'

'It's only hypochondria, but it's a very virulent FORM of it.'

"You're in excellent health...until we can prove otherwise."

'It's a new syndrome we're seeing more of... 'Google-itis'.'

Health MOTs will attract 'worried well'.

Cyber War

'We need to add an eleventh - 'thou shalt not spam.'

Aren't you a hypochondriac? What was that, loser? I feel warm. You're not going to trick me into thinking I have Ebola. 21 days ago, I may have ordered a pizza. The delivery boy had what might've been a Texas accent. A hospital in Texas was treating an Ebola patient. NOT FALLING FOR IT!! Everyone knows Ebola can only be transmitted through bodily fluids! The delivery boy was sweating. Sweat evaporates, right? Then it's in the air. Cough. Well-played, nemesis.

"Uh-oh. . . Paper-cut!"

"Just as I thought Brian... Cybercondria."

'Nothing too serious, I think, but better safe than sorry.' 'PLAGUE!! PLAGUE!!'

'I sent the wrong email by mistake - I'm trying to get it back!'

'Good thing you came in. Most men just ignore the warning signs.'