Cyber Cultist Gifts

'New Religion'

Lynching on social media

"My hackers just collapsed your country's economy."

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

'Well look, here come the hackers!'

Are you interested in UFOs? Advanced life forms? Free medical screenings? Alternative underwear? Snacks and refreshments? Non-sexual turtles? Reverse pound cake? Science? Join us.

Internet Cafe.

"Someone has hacked into our Computer."

"They don't appear to want to take over. They just want to dance."

'It's not working because it claims it can think and has decided not to.'

'What do you mean that you hacked into Old Faithful's computer so now it's not so faithful?'

"I.T. says these new laptops they gave us come loaded with all the latest viruses."

"Yes, I'm a superhero. I'm not attractive, muscular or charming because I work in the 'cyber crimes' division."

"I had a wonderful dream that Anonymous turned out to be me."

"I don't get this. I know that you're a computer hacker and must have done many bad things. But your record is completely clean!"

'Hey, if you pull up a war game of Godzilla destroying Tokyo, that's just my son hacking our data base.'

"My self esteem is low ... how come I never got hacked?"

Knights of the iPhone

Rodin, the surfer.

I'm not saying he's dumb, but talking to him is like talking to a firewall.

'Grandpa says that, in his day, he had to walk 20 miles in the snow just to steal music.'

'This is Mr. Uhmatungha, he knows how to protect computers from even the worst hacker and virus attacks.'

"These days, I don't eat homework. I just install ransomware."

Church Sign Asks If You Are Prepared for Digital Conversion.

"Read the comments, boss. . . we should rename the whole thing from 'social media' to 'antisocial media'."

Tweet

"Lets take this conversation off line..."

"Welcome to the team, Mr Ware. What did you say your first name was?"

'I know those big money deals from NIGERIA are a scam, but this e-mail is from NEW GUINEA!'

"Step 10 paces, turn and post your opinion on facebook."

'You've got Chop Suey!'

'Enjoy yourself...take time to smell the plastic flowers.'

'Look out world, I'm going viral!'

"In the end we decided to name him PJZK45Mz! So we could remember our computer's password."