Cyber-cautious Gifts

"He's afraid of getting on the computer. Or as I call it, cyberinsecurity."

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

No Immediate Danger

"I want one that detects intrusions by hackers, then blows their computers to bits!"

'I can't understand how those burglars could clean out our house so quietly.'

"I didn't know it was poison ivy. It didn't have any warning labels."

'Computer crime' 'To see your belongings visit our website www,burgular.com'

'Will you watch where you're going with that thing?'

Hang on, don't cross now: I can see a car coming...

"My self esteem is low ... how come I never got hacked?"

"Well, sure, it LOOKS like a straightforward plea to buy our product...but for safety we better run it by the legal department

"I'm all for security, but you having an 80-factor authentication may be a little over the top."

'I'd like to play, but I'm afraid it might void my warranty.'

"On reflection, it might be prudent to leave this one till last..."

Them/ Us

Tortoise Goes For A Swim

At Travel Agent - "We're interested in a no-diarrhea itinery."

'I know those big money deals from NIGERIA are a scam, but this e-mail is from NEW GUINEA!'

"I made a mental note of my password, but it's been deleted."

I see the computer is down again.

"What do I want?! Didn't you read the FAQ page on my wedsite?!"

'You should try to be more spontaneous.' 'I shall. When I'm good and ready.'

"Was there ever a boy scout badge for 'caution'?"

"We got you a computer for your Birthday, grandpa."

Gymnast on balancing beam about to slip on a banana skin.

'Mom says if you're going to buy anything online,I'm supposed to make sure it's a secure site.'

"Better safe than sorry."

"Thanks to all the passwords I've had to memorize, I've forgotten my name. Who am I?"

"We'd prefer the sort of place where we won't catch any disfiguring diseases or be killed by fanatics."

"She loves everything about preschool except for how long it takes to get through security."

Being careful on social media.

'This school does have a bit of a problem with cyberbullying.'

No, thank you. I do not want to play hangman.

The Secret of Long Life...

"Billy here has done a good job guarding our computers, but we're looking to upgrade our cybersecurity to something a little more effective."