Customs Curious Gifts

"Anything to declare aside from ever-lasting love and devotion to each other?"

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

"I like to sit facing the room to see if anyone seated after us gets served before us."

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

Do Guns Kill?

'French hypermarket' ' 5 English or less' till

'He's an attorney. He came with the software package, to verify software licensing compliance.'

'According to the latest poll, 64% of the public don't pay any attention to polls...'

'I have nothing to declare... Okay, I liked Maui better.'

"Which will it be - do we label it '20% free', and raise the price 20%, or label lit '40% free', and raise the price 40%?"

'Mummy, what's a daddy one of those called?'

'Beer? Wassat then?'

'Arghhh! He's got no face!'

'If the pound is worth so little, can I have a couple?'

'And it comes with an accompanying dictionary.'

'It's 10pm, does anyone know how much the U.S. dollar is worth?'

Why used clothing should be declared a dangerous weapon...

"You're on the green list."

'I don't smell any drugs, just Old Spice, geezer aftershave.'

"Sales rep from Milton Keynes? You prove he no British spymaster who sent you on secret mission to Bananastan?"

'Purpose of visit?'

God hounded by the media.

"And did you pack this bag yourself, sir?"

The Governor-General settles in.

Excess Baggage: Perhaps you should have washed those clothes before returning home from your overseas vacation.

'I'm sorry Sir, I can't allow you to enter this country. Your passport is okay, but your internet rating is lousy!'

'Are you sure you're not wearing anything you bought overseas?'

A sniffer bear locates smuggled honey at an airport

"Anything to declare?" "Yeah...you're not getting a penny in VAT from my latest project"

"Dad, tell me about the birds and the bees and safeguards."

"Suspected illegal alien."

Cathy was becoming increasingly buy-curious.

'But what is a recession, Father?'

"Did you say girl cheese sandwiches? Why can't I have a boy cheese sandwich?"

Last Customs Post Before the Border