Customs Curious Gifts

"Anything to declare aside from ever-lasting love and devotion to each other?"

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

"I like to sit facing the room to see if anyone seated after us gets served before us."

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

'French hypermarket' ' 5 English or less' till

Do Guns Kill?

'He's an attorney. He came with the software package, to verify software licensing compliance.'

'According to the latest poll, 64% of the public don't pay any attention to polls...'

'I have nothing to declare... Okay, I liked Maui better.'

"Which will it be - do we label it '20% free', and raise the price 20%, or label lit '40% free', and raise the price 40%?"

'Beer? Wassat then?'

'Mummy, what's a daddy one of those called?'

'It's 10pm, does anyone know how much the U.S. dollar is worth?'

'And it comes with an accompanying dictionary.'

'If the pound is worth so little, can I have a couple?'

'I don't smell any drugs, just Old Spice, geezer aftershave.'

"Sales rep from Milton Keynes? You prove he no British spymaster who sent you on secret mission to Bananastan?"

'Purpose of visit?'

Why used clothing should be declared a dangerous weapon...

"You're on the green list."

God hounded by the media.

The Governor-General settles in.

Excess Baggage: Perhaps you should have washed those clothes before returning home from your overseas vacation.

'I'm sorry Sir, I can't allow you to enter this country. Your passport is okay, but your internet rating is lousy!'

'Are you sure you're not wearing anything you bought overseas?'

Cathy was becoming increasingly buy-curious.

"Anything to declare?" "Yeah...you're not getting a penny in VAT from my latest project"

"Suspected illegal alien."

"Dad, tell me about the birds and the bees and safeguards."

A sniffer bear locates smuggled honey at an airport

'But what is a recession, Father?'

Last Customs Post Before the Border

"It's one of our local customs—the annual blessing of the lawnmowers."