Customs Expert Gifts

'French hypermarket' ' 5 English or less' till

UK border controls relaxed.

Tariff Wars

Collies Without Borders

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

Vaccination Passport

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

"There she be, lads, the special economic zone!"

"This is a big seller, and we get them cheap...from China."

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

"Just as I feared. Tariffs."

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"

"His name? It's 'Reggie the Drug-Sniffing Dog.'"

Made in China.

Export

'I have nothing to declare... Okay, I liked Maui better.'

"What makes you think this could be a suspect package?"

'Anything to declare?'

'Look, if we're going to make this business work, we need to stop eating all the stock.'

"Providing the kind of service the customer is paying for could be a serious hassle."

"It's marzipan pigs."

Exotic Insects Arrive in England with Imported Fruit

"I need a vacation. Everything is starting to smell like a bomb to me."

"The legal people are terrified of litigation but I insisted that we write an apology to the client of the lack of service. . . as long as we don't sent it!"

HM Customs and Excise - 'One of the few things you can see from space is the great wall of Chinese imports.'

'Since you're wearing cargo pants, everything in your pockets is considered cargo and subject to a tariff.'

"You're on the green list."

Exportation and importation in Cuba

"Are you carrying any food, plants or dangerous ideas about a more equitable health care system?"

"Sales rep from Milton Keynes? You prove he no British spymaster who sent you on secret mission to Bananastan?"

'I'm sorry sir, but that slide rule exceeds the allowable length for a sharp object, unless, of course, you can manage to fold it.'