Customs Official Gifts

"Why didn't you bring a cardigan or lightweight jacket?"

'Customs have busted Happy and Dopey, act like you're not with them.'

'I have nothing to declare... Okay, I liked Maui better.'

'I'm sorry Sir, I can't allow you to enter this country. Your passport is okay, but your internet rating is lousy!'

'I think we've just found the 'big cheese' in the notorious jewellery smuggling ring, Bert!'

"This may be past it's use-by date."

Excess Baggage: Perhaps you should have washed those clothes before returning home form your overseas vacation.

"Boy...you Customs and Excise guys are getting REALLY tough with late payers, aren't you....?"

"Suspected illegal alien."

"Oh, I think someone is smuggling something! ..and I know where!"

"And did you pack this bag yourself, sir?"

Airport

'Relax... HIB is a type of visa, not a flu strain.'

Covid Passports

"You're on the green list."

"Do I have gun, drugs or alcohol? Sure! What do you guys need and how much do you want to spend?"

"I didn't realise budgie smugglers were actually budgie smugglers."

"Good boy, look, I think he's found something."

Migrant Centre

Albanian Customs

Why used clothing should be declared a dangerous weapon...

". . . And I'm returning the load of mouldy bread my ancestors stole from you pommies!"

"Ok one last chance - and don't try and tell me it's salt again."

'I don't smell any drugs, just Old Spice, geezer aftershave.'

'Anything to declare?'

"Sales rep from Milton Keynes? You prove he no British spymaster who sent you on secret mission to Bananastan?"

'Purpose of visit?'

"Looks like we've got ourselves a heavy water smuggler!"

"You're getting warmer."

Excess Baggage: Perhaps you should have washed those clothes before returning home from your overseas vacation.

'He says he knows exactly where we're coming from.'

"So Mr Douane Zoll, why the interest in Customs work?"

Last Customs Post Before the Border

UK border controls relaxed.

The Henderson's move to a vertical city took some getting used to.