Customs Inspection Gifts

Smug Lur Transport. It was just a hunch.

UK border controls relaxed.

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

Collies Without Borders

The Family Joules: Part 6

Vaccination Passport

'French hypermarket' ' 5 English or less' till

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

'Are you ready for your FISCAL examination?'

"Okay, lets see what we have here."

IRS Audit Section

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

"Did you unpack your baggage yourself?"

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

"His name? It's 'Reggie the Drug-Sniffing Dog.'"

"Well, if it's a fairy story you want, here's a good one that arrived at the office today."

'He's trying to persuade the Inland Revenue that it's a tax haven.'

"Office of quality assurance"

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

Tax Collector

'I have nothing to declare... Okay, I liked Maui better.'

'Will you bring in Mr.Harris' file - you'll find it under 'U' for unbelievable.'

"What makes you think this could be a suspect package?"

'I know a lot of folks get us confused, but I'm actually taxes!'

'Anything to declare?'

"I now represent both death and taxes."

'Tax inspector: In. Out. Suicide notes.'

'Even if we did skin you last year, you may not deduct your dermatologist bill this year.'

'We've minimized your tax liability by losing a lot of your principle.'