Customer Success Manager Gifts

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Or as I prefer to call it, the 'feel-good' factor.

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

Sales chart is buildings in background.

Annual profits,

"Who wants to hear a funny story about the third quarter?"

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

Robots In The Boardroom

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

'Dammit - how do we get in on that gross national product?'

"You can all unroll yourselves now. We're heading back up."

Company sales forecast mirrors the weather

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

'Our problem is how to lower quality while raising prices...'

Shop struggles to sell books about recession: '90 per cent off on all credit crunch books' (Titles incluude: Beat the Crunch! Who's to Blame? We're all Doomed!)

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

'Ho,ho,ho, but can you be more specific?'

'If I may say so, business is booming.'

'I'd like to return this, please.'

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

Business is off the chart.

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."