Customer Of Comedy Gifts

"Home is the place where, when you go there, they have to take you in - unless they've moved to a one-bedroom condo in Boca Raton."

'It's one of our new technology rings, it allows you to download karats.'

'I'll take the one on the right.'

'Your call may be monitored to give us a few good laughs.'

'Are these mushrooms or toadstools? And why are you holding a stomach pump?.'

Continental Breakfast...$2.99: 'What continent is THIS supposed to represent?'

"All the Biden jobs went to illegal ALIENS."

"Where are all the hecklers? I have some great rejoinders."

"Stand-up comedy." "On-your-knees-with-gas-pain comedy." "Please, God, make it stop..."

Where Are They Now?

"... Wine list? No, we don't have a wine list! Perhaps I can get sir something from the vending machine?"

"Where can I find your organic, locally raised children?"

"I'll get that. First go get me a glass of warm water."

Aristophanes

"We've had to update our restaurant's motto."

'They're a nuisance, but they keep the smaller vermin down.'

"What makes you think you can patronize me?"

'For kicking our salesman down the stairs, we take 10 euros extra charge, sir!'

'What's wrong with me today? I actually served a customer...'

Lap Line-Dancing Club

Custard Pies - Serving Suggestion

"Well, I have arranged the pick-up of your shipment, sir. Do you already want to raise the complaint about the miscarriage, sir?"

ABC Airplane Food Manufacturing Co: Supplying Lame Jokes To Comedians for 35 Years.

"Would you like an ice bucket with your Champagne?"

"Officer, wrong number."

"Missing elf"