Cushion Combatant Gifts

"My self-defence training wasn't as useful as I'd hoped...Somehow it lacked the necessary 'edge'."

"Ninja bread men"

Women's Martial Arts Center

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

"My pillow mania got out of control so I'm limiting myself to just one at a time."

"All your throw pillows were in knots."

Futile Little Snow Shoveler Guy Snow Globe

The sofa freshly made up...

A poem: With daylight's shift, winter draws near...

'He's in training for the marathon, he watches it every year.'

'Having him declawed was a total was a total waste of money.'

"There really is such a thing as having too many pillows."

"There's the remote!"

'He hibernates between superbowls.'

"Our cautions to the wind dear?.. I said let's throw our CAUTIONS to the wind."

"You know your dog better than I do."

'School sports day - fat boys playing computer game'

It was supposed to be a friendly takeover?

Darn it, you're touching my half of the love seat again.

"What are we doing today?"

'Both benches have emptied, and now the brawl is spreading to the spectators!'

First Place Layabout

You know you're getting old when....

'My elbow has a cold!'

"Pace yourself big man! You're fatigued and the footy season has just begun!"

"And this was before you plumped the cushions, or after?"

"According to the fitness watch the remote moves more than you do."

He lost his cushy job. They gave him six months severance - and his favourite cushion.

Professor Lars P. Olafson. Inventor of the scatter cushion.

When paperwork attacks.

'It's alright my previous, it was just a bad dream, there is no super bindweed monster...'

Guy with a cold that has made his nose big and red.

'He calls it his Olympic legacy, he thought the games went on for 3 weeks.'

"A few more decorative pillow and I won't have to make the bed."

'Hey, a running suit. I didn't know you were into running. Maybe we could go running together sometime.' 'Actually, I'm not. I'm into elastic waistbands. But hey, maybe we could go eating together sometime.'