Curriculum Commando Gifts

"So, what did you do at charter school today?"

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

The full moon frenzy strikes again."

'Here, we started to be investigated...'

"I can give you a little bit of focus on 2:53 next Thursday."

'Actually, nowadays it's considered offensive to call an answer 'wrong'.'

"I can't tell you how it ended. That would ruin the sequel."

Teacher's pet dog

'Well, when you mess up on the job, you know where you stand with me.'

Communication Breakdowns

Commando crashes into wall, instead of through window.

'That's o.k., Dugan - 'why do I even bother?' was a rhetorical question.'

"History test? But I studied all night for a math test!"

'That's the bell for round two.'

'I give the same advice to all new teachers. Pretend you know what you are doing.'

The Ideal Teacher.

"I said 'I quit'. Nobody listens to me any more."

'Parents have been complaining that I'm too strict? You want me to be a little less intimidating? Do you want me to send students to your office 47 times a day? I'm a 67-year-old woman dealing with 16-year-old thugs....

A Lesson in Leadership: Misplacing your keys isn't a problem, unless you have to enlist the whole school's support to find them.

'Teachers' Dreams.''Did you just say F***? Care to repeat it so everyone can hear you or is even a four letter word beyond your abilities? ... And the state expects me to make you multisyllabic.'

"I try to get a head start on them."

"Just teachers' lounge will suffice, Ed."

'I'd like to overwhelm them with instructional excellence, but I'm not above winning through intimidation.'

'How come you're always trying to teach me things I don't want to know.'

'There I was, all alone... salesmen to the left of me... salesmen to the right of me... salesmen behind me...'

"So, Mrs. Miller, would you tell me briefly your methods for teaching reading, your overall philosophy of education, your views on testing, your ideas on discipline, your opinions about homework, the ways you could excite kids about science, and how you would upgrade math skills in our school should you be hired?"

'I actually find my Ghillie Suit a better camouflage option than my stripes...'

"What is the battle cry for homeschoolers?" Kids: "Go Home!"

'I'd like to change my major from electrical engineering to English or something.'

'Shall we talk about your unacceptable behavior or shall we go directly to the penalty phase?'

'Your opinions are a rephrasing of my opinions. I like that in a subordinate.'

I think you're capable of doing better work, too!

Aways read the small print.

Spring Cleaning

'Come on. It's time to wage education.'