Classroom Commando Gifts

"Well, you call it note-passing and whispering. We call it networking."

'Okay, is there anybody else whose homework ate their dog?'

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

"So, what did you do at charter school today?"

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

The full moon frenzy strikes again."

'I'd like to challenge the test.'

Computer Class.

'My class is so large and my seat so far back, I feel like I'm taking a distance-learning course.'

"I can't tell you how it ended. That would ruin the sequel."

'Actually, nowadays it's considered offensive to call an answer 'wrong'.'

'Life isn't fair and neither is Miss Brown!'

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

Teacher's pet dog

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

The History Teacher

'I'm having a hard time balancing homework and family time.'

Too much homework: kid with two backpacks.

'Well, when you mess up on the job, you know where you stand with me.'

Luck is when good classroom management skills meets a day when distruptice students are absent.

I'm in the den mom, reading the newspaper for social studies class.

“Honestly class, where are your minds?!”

"First period music always leaves me with a tune stuck in my head for the rest of the day."

'That's the bell for round two.'

"Please, Ms. Sweeney, may I ask where you're going with all this?"

Smirking or Non-smirking

'I give the same advice to all new teachers. Pretend you know what you are doing.'

"While your lesson plans were perfect, and your bulletin boards were terrific...your classroom management skills need work!"

The Ideal Teacher.

"Mom, no more apples for teacher. It looks like bribery."

"No, I don't believe Michaelangelo ever did any bobbleheads."

"Sorry, class, but because of new deregulations, I don't have to teach you anything this year."

'No, fear isn't one of the basic taste sensations.'

'I'm sorry, Sally, you can't buy a vowel.'

'Teachers' Dreams.''Did you just say F***? Care to repeat it so everyone can hear you or is even a four letter word beyond your abilities? ... And the state expects me to make you multisyllabic.'