Classroom Commando Pillows

"Well, you call it note-passing and whispering. We call it networking."

'Okay, is there anybody else whose homework ate their dog?'

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

"So, what did you do at charter school today?"

'I'd like to challenge the test.'

The full moon frenzy strikes again."

Computer Class.

'My class is so large and my seat so far back, I feel like I'm taking a distance-learning course.'

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

"I can't tell you how it ended. That would ruin the sequel."

'Actually, nowadays it's considered offensive to call an answer 'wrong'.'

'Life isn't fair and neither is Miss Brown!'

Teacher's pet dog

The History Teacher

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

'I'm having a hard time balancing homework and family time.'

Too much homework: kid with two backpacks.

'Well, when you mess up on the job, you know where you stand with me.'

Luck is when good classroom management skills meets a day when distruptice students are absent.

I'm in the den mom, reading the newspaper for social studies class.

'That's the bell for round two.'

"First period music always leaves me with a tune stuck in my head for the rest of the day."

"Please, Ms. Sweeney, may I ask where you're going with all this?"

Smirking or Non-smirking

'I give the same advice to all new teachers. Pretend you know what you are doing.'

"While your lesson plans were perfect, and your bulletin boards were terrific...your classroom management skills need work!"

The Ideal Teacher.

"No, I don't believe Michaelangelo ever did any bobbleheads."

"Mom, no more apples for teacher. It looks like bribery."

'I'm sorry, Sally, you can't buy a vowel.'

"I try to get a head start on them."

"I said 'I quit'. Nobody listens to me any more."

'Parents have been complaining that I'm too strict? You want me to be a little less intimidating? Do you want me to send students to your office 47 times a day? I'm a 67-year-old woman dealing with 16-year-old thugs....

'No, fear isn't one of the basic taste sensations.'