Current Events Bufferers Pillows

"Ugh, not this again. I've been avoiding it like the plague."

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated.

We Tenatively Oppose War on Strictly Procedural Grounds

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

National Everything Awareness Day

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

Laughingstock

Taking Credit after Voting against Stimulus

Coronavirus Impact on Children

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

SAGE mentality

New Flavors at Where's the Scoop Ice Cream

"America’s leaders since 1980"

'Son, voting isn't a rational procedure by which one strategically selects an electable candidate who will best serve your interests. Voting is an emotional response to your gut level fears!'

"Sir, multiple people were stabbed by a terrorist in..."

"Trump vs Biden. Chiefs vs 49ers. On the brink of war with Iran. Didn't we do this all in 2020?"

'...and this time Gerald, don't refer to the RBS as the Ripoff Bonus Scheme!'

"The election's over, Trump won, the illegals are being deported and I'm here for one of them there high-paying American jobs he promised."

Reporter #6: television.

Vladimir Putin Pulling Trump Across The Table By His Tie

The Russians Are Coming...Maybe

How the US Succeeded in Afghanistan

No Cheap Fuel Ahead: Easy Street Ends.

We Used to Build Things

Mitt Romney: Double Guantánamo

A world divided by the war

"There-there-all those countries...all those protesters...it's nothing personal...wait a minute! I think it is!"

Statue of Security

The Republican's Plan One: No Obama!

Trump Mask

'Are we watching business news or sports news?'

The Evening News

Native Habitats: Trump/Lies

"The White House Washington"

Holding a gun to the WHO