Currency Comical Gifts

'Holy Father, a request from Mr. Berusconi. Can the Vatican lend Italy a few billion Euros?'

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

Euro crisis: The euro walking over a cliff

"The company only made a profit of $2 billion. So that raise you requested will have to wait."

"Any questions?" (Company's down the toilet.)

"Goodbye cruel world."

Dog Beginning For A Loan

"But, for ten million bucks, would you lick it?"

"Today, the yen shot up on news it is spelled differently from the 'Yuan'."

"I only invest in alternative meat products, so I reject the terms 'Bull' and 'Bear'."

World Economic: Crisis/Crash/Collapse

'Slaug-ter house? I wonder what that is. C'mon, I'll race you!'

Visit to the Bank Manager, "Marrying my daughter isn't the sort of security I had in mind, Harry!"

"The government wants us to wear these bonus hazard suits."

Caveman waits for his money from a cash dispenser as behind the scenes another caveman chips away at a rock.

"This article says that a good investment consultant can smell money like a dog smells fear..."

Squirrel Pyramid Scheme

"Someplace where the currency has already melted down."

"Today, the value of the Chinese Yuan dropped in relation to the chopstick, the egg roll and the fortune cookie."

"I'm sorry, Mr Weinstock can't see you at the moment - he's on the run."

Coudl I go to jail for something I didn't do? I didn't pay my income tax!

"You can't lend me the £100 I asked for, only £70? Don't worry, you can own me the rest."

"It's all very well being healed, but that mobility scooter cost a fortune."

'Today, a downturn in 'social conscience' stocks on news that 'nice guys finish last'.'

"Today, the Cuban cigar closed higher against the US dollar, the pound, Yen, Yuan, and the Chinese egg roll."

'Could you please hurry, Teller, I need to make a deposit, and quickly.'

"Here's the sick squid I owe you. . ."

Cupid views his online credit rating.

'We've decided to stay together for the sake of Ken's pension.'

'Before the smart money leaves the market, we need to get the dumb money into the market. Here's a list of un-savvy investors to call.'

'He's had a much healthier attitude to our financial woes since he started taking prescription anti-depressants.'

'What's the worst thing about being a street person? -- the ATM fees, I guess.'