Currency Comical Gifts

'Holy Father, a request from Mr. Berusconi. Can the Vatican lend Italy a few billion Euros?'

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

Euro crisis: The euro walking over a cliff

"The company only made a profit of $2 billion. So that raise you requested will have to wait."

"Goodbye cruel world."

"Any questions?" (Company's down the toilet.)

"But, for ten million bucks, would you lick it?"

Dog Beginning For A Loan

"Today, the yen shot up on news it is spelled differently from the 'Yuan'."

'Slaug-ter house? I wonder what that is. C'mon, I'll race you!'

World Economic: Crisis/Crash/Collapse

"I only invest in alternative meat products, so I reject the terms 'Bull' and 'Bear'."

"The government wants us to wear these bonus hazard suits."

Visit to the Bank Manager, "Marrying my daughter isn't the sort of security I had in mind, Harry!"

Caveman waits for his money from a cash dispenser as behind the scenes another caveman chips away at a rock.

"This article says that a good investment consultant can smell money like a dog smells fear..."

"Today, the value of the Chinese Yuan dropped in relation to the chopstick, the egg roll and the fortune cookie."

Squirrel Pyramid Scheme

"I'm sorry, Mr Weinstock can't see you at the moment - he's on the run."

"It's all very well being healed, but that mobility scooter cost a fortune."

"You can't lend me the £100 I asked for, only £70? Don't worry, you can own me the rest."

Coudl I go to jail for something I didn't do? I didn't pay my income tax!

"Someplace where the currency has already melted down."

'Today, a downturn in 'social conscience' stocks on news that 'nice guys finish last'.'

Cupid views his online credit rating.

"Here's the sick squid I owe you. . ."

'Could you please hurry, Teller, I need to make a deposit, and quickly.'

"Today, the Cuban cigar closed higher against the US dollar, the pound, Yen, Yuan, and the Chinese egg roll."

'We've decided to stay together for the sake of Ken's pension.'

'Before the smart money leaves the market, we need to get the dumb money into the market. Here's a list of un-savvy investors to call.'

Thrifty Credit Union

Pretty soon it'll be spring, when a young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love. I wonder if it's possible to get a bank loan to refinance my fancy. !