Magical Currency Humorist Gifts

'And for my next trick, I will go into this slot and magically transform into coins!'

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

Will work for ETFs

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

"When the company announced that they're gonna move our retirement accounts down to Mexico, I was like '401 Que Pasa?'"

'The reason I like this guy's stock picks is, he's not burdened by having any experience in finance whatsoever.'

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

"Might you explain to me how your division managed to spend twenty-six thousand dollars on tennis balls?"

Money Bar.

'City Traders - The Complete Menagerie'

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'

Paper Profits Break Glass In Case of Emergency.

'I understand they specialize in acquisitions.'

Credit Crunch Corn Flakes.

"True, a salary cap on Wall Street may limit the talent pool, but, on the other hand, if they get any more talented we'll all be broke."

But under a different accounting convention ...

'You've been pre-approved for another credit card.'

'If you're out of quarterly earnings, I'll take the assets and liabilities breakdown.'

'Instead of jail time, our head of finance chose the stock option.'

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

'Mr. Hickey really knows how to keep our stockholders meetings short and sweet!'

The Euro - R.I.P.

'Actually, they're a hybrid. They are a blue-chip, common stock.'

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

White Collar Crime.

'If you must know... I got the ten-million-dollar bonus this year because... instead of losing 15-million-dollars, we could of possibly lost much, much more!'

'As part of our alternative budget management strategy we've got Tim on 'Hail Marys' in here and Geoff sacrificing a goat to Woden next door!'

"The fish - will it be the market price at the time of ordering, the time of eating or the time of paying?"

"I have the profit sharing figures. You owe the company �2,367.25."