Curious Chemist Gifts

"Some genetic engineers we turned out to be!"

'Hon, did you see that ultra-adhesive compound I brought home from the lab?'

'...then add some of the yellow powder to those blue crystals, heat it for a while, and see how you like it.'

"Maybe we should have tried it on the rats first."

'I'm inventing an acid that eats through anything.'

'This is the one - we want you to pray for this one.'

"Coal used to come in hard pieces, like rocks."

"The difference? This one has ingredients you can pronounce and this one doesn't."

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

'We look for a new drug, we find a virus - we look for a new virus, we find a drug...'

"I think I may have stumbled on something, Walpole."

Carbon Dating.

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

The Style of Elements

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

Scientists are sexy

Fusion Lab. Did you tell the boss we need more hydrogen? Yes, I told him we were out of our element.

'Sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.'

Genetic modification creating plastic from plant cellulose.

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point.' Tennyson.'

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

'Put a tick under 'very toxic'.' (New Orleans Toxic Clean-Up Team).

Scientist admires his structure of a dog

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

Thank you for not doing research that has already been done.

Sexual chemistry set

"What's a nine-letter word for biotechnology?"

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.