Curfew Commander Gifts

24 Hour Curfew - No Grandchildren under the age of 16.

Yet another law of the jungle: 'Absolutely NO howling at the moon after 11 PM!

Infantry.

"I'm so good at this!"

'You have her home by midnight, now!'

Help! (Woman stuck on washing line).

An outstanding high school pole vaulter, Kevin was never caught coming home late,

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

"10 - 9 - 8 - 7 — Get your finger out of my ear! Buzz, go sit down. Now I lost count. Re-starting countdown: 100 - 99 - 98 — Buzz, I swear to god..."

"Please excuse the mess. We had a major paradigm shift."

Paper Trail

'Do you have bottled spring water?'

And make sure my daughter is back by 10pm: You really don't want to see me angry!

"Sorry sir, it's the permafrost again!"

'There's an extra $25 in it for you if you can get the Silly Putty out of his hair.'

"My drone strikes are successful, Sir, but I keep getting trash talk from a 15 year old in Montana."

The art of fishing.

"I'll only be a few minutes more dad!"

'I didn't know you got one for saluting.'

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

Poetry Journal. Any good submissions over the internet? No -- Just the usual bloggerel.

It's folks like Mildred who make collectibles collectable!

'And I'll bet that there's a cute little war story that goes with each one of them.'

"For my birthday, my parents are giving me a driverless car that's always home by 10."

"Back in my day, 'Call of Duty' wasn't a game."

'What's wrong? You can play any game you want! Mwaahahaha!'

Stadium usher of the month.

Pentagon

"I've got to be back by ten o 'clock. . . how come parents never remember being our age?"

'The enemy sir. They've broken our code. Perhaps it wasn't good idea to use pig Latin.'

'The general says, I'm not only expendable, but also biodegradable.'

Must... Remember...

"No, she likes me best!"

General/medals.

"I am beginning to think that my student teaching experience may not have completely prepared me for my own classroom."