Cure Explorer T-Shirts

'I want you to try an alternate cure for your insomnia-start watching daytime television.'

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

The discovery of electricity...

Emoticon Encouragement Therapy

'It's an antique!'

'. . .actually I'm not a real Guru, I was forced up here originally by the property prices.'

'Mom's Spa'

You have the worst spring breath.

Psychiatry. I got in touch with my inner child, and now I'm going broke buying video games!

"Professor, this changes everything."

'I feel like such a failure: They have to process my milk to make it low-fat...'

"Only 10,000 more years and we'll be together forever, my darling."

'A mother complex! Are you sure?'

'Ã…w, gee whiz, Mom -- all the other kids have velociraptors!'

'Look at the bright side -- having a business fail when you're thirty is great preparation for your Midlife Crisis.'

"How much is this going to cost me?"

"Oooh... bacon!"

Man in a tortoise shell visiting a psychiatrist.

"Apparently you're a bi-polar bear."

"You have to remember you're not responsible for other people's happiness."

"I know it seems cruel, but it's the only way for him to get rid of that silly technophobia."

Biomedical Conference. To incentivize advances in medical science, more cures and fewer diseases should be named after people.

"He's got a man cave, a work cave, and a cave cave."

DNA doctor

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

"I'm not feeling well. I'm picking up a few things at my pharmacy."

"Apparently, I'm fun, but I'm no fun in bed."

"Too much caution can take all the fun out of life." "Mind if I get a second opinion?"

"There's only so much bat-mansplaining a girl can take."

Tell me about the voices in your head, Al. On the one hand, they tell me to do horrible things. On the other hand, they sing the sweetest harmonies since the Mills Brothers.

"It's all locally-sourced, made from scratch."

Clinical Trails. . . Prevention . . . Detection. . . Diagnosis. . . Treatment.