Cunning Schemer Gifts

It would've worked too, if his idiot partner hadn't switched on the exhaust fan.

"We gotta find a way to increase our Halloween candy."

"I'm in big trouble. The dog ate my homework, and Dad ate my science project."

"It's a setup."

'Just tell him you've been good. Don't overdo it.'

"One is a sham bag for my parents to confiscate."

Old man stealing sand from a sand box for child

Gracie hatches a plan to trap Santa.

"Doing chores is very stimulating. I'm always thinking of ways to avoid them."

"My reasons for asking for a raise are wholly unselfish. I wish to marry your daughter!"

'We're looking to expand our globalization into countries that don't extradite.'

"May I have your attention? For Christmas, all I want is for everyone to write a note on how smart, charming and social I am. I'm collecting college reference letters before I enter my terrible teens."

"Are there any security cameras in the basement?"

"If I do that to my own Barbie, imagine what might happen to a tattle-tale."

The Groundhog didn't see his shadow...because the superdome lights were out.

"Now, don't worry about the shepherd's fire: I'll take care of it..."

'Your teacher called and said the school concert tickets you sold me for $20 were free.'

"Our plan for world domination starts with the chew toys."

"They say you're good with forgeries?"

"The lab boys figured out how to change lead into gold. Now your job is to corner the lead market."

A road side billboard advertises: 'bus drivers eat-free' a man is seen rigging a false panel that looks like a bus to his caravan.

"When I win the lottery, I'll be an agent of goodness...giving every last penny to needy children, the homeless, and the sick and destitute of the world."

'Now THAT's what I call an innovative business plan!'

Fox dreams of catching chicken to sell on special offer

"Baldo and I went fifty-fifty on it. But he doesn't know that yet."

'I put a dab of Pine-Sol behind each ear and my husband thinks I've been cleaning all day.'

'Do not answer the door bell until I say so. . . if the pizza guy doesn't deliver our order in 15 minutes, we get our pizza for free.'

'It works every time! I put extra salt on the peanuts,the punters get thirsty and I sell more beer...!'

"Okay, but before I tell you who broke the window I'll have to check you're not wearing a wire."

"You can be whatever you want to be when you grow, thanks to identity theft."