Cultural Guardian Gifts

Guarding the Safe

"I cannot let American culture hijack this household! We must stick to the values and traditions that have been handed down through the generations! From now on, when you get off the phone...you have to say 'Ciao!'"

"Hey, that's disgusting! You can't leave that on the footpath: Make sure your master comes and picks it up!"

"The date protection policy is all about access to information, and we all know information is POWER!"

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

Piles of trash discarded by ancient people are a rich source of artifacts for archaeologists. I unearthed garbage dumps that advanced our understanding of prehistoric societies. On the island of Crete I found ancient trash that increased our knowledge about the Minoan people. And I recently uncovered informative Celtic rubbish. Please stop saying studying ancient cultures by what they threw away is "junk science"!

An acceptable level of TV violence.

The sunglasses.

'Don't the Italians believe in remodeling, Dad?'

Man from 'National Viewers and Listeners Association sits at work boxes titled; 'Switch on' and 'Switch off'.

"I said 'neighborhood watch'; they said 'peeping Tom.' "

'Poor thing. He got left out in the acid rain.'

"My owner used me irresponsibly and now I have a virus."

Roald Dahl's books updated for modern sensitivities.

Architects and Engineers - Restoration of old Buildings.

"Someone hacked into his account. It's the third time this month he's renamed his cat."

Computer Virus

Britain sinking and losing it's identity.

Computer password.

Cave Man Hanging Framed Cave Paintings

'I'm pleased to announce the newly-created 'Office of Homepage Security' - to protect against computer hackers.'

'Our firewall barely protects our content.'

"Guard coming."

"Did you accidentally put the DVD of 'Taxi Driver' in her 'Wheels on the Bus' case?"

"My pappy built this shell with his bare claws. I'll be damned if some freeloader moves in."

Gentrification vs Manchester...

'I have here a list of websites you failed to delete from your hard drive...'

'I've invented copyright.'

"Have they no shame?"

Cyber Sexual Harassment

If the British had been the first to see the Grand Canyon.

"Did I hear Spanish spoken in here??"

Greece Burns

"Who let the dog get into the chocolate?"

Wikileaks- Julian Assange.