Art Guardian Gifts

I drew these in a cave so they won't be in the public domain.

'It's a Joan Biro.'

'I could do that.'

The Rise of Modern Art

Horse statue throws off rider.

'I just love this work from his macaroni period,'

"The date protection policy is all about access to information, and we all know information is POWER!"

'Wow, talk about genius!'

'Miss Donahue would give him an F.'

An acceptable level of TV violence.

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Creative accounting.

"I want one that detects intrusions by hackers, then blows their computers to bits!"

'No, no....You have it all wrong!'

Please do not touch the art. Please touch the artist.

Man from 'National Viewers and Listeners Association sits at work boxes titled; 'Switch on' and 'Switch off'.

'No cheating'

'Poor thing. He got left out in the acid rain.'

"Big deal! My digital picture frame can hold a thousand pictures!"

The Critic...

'Everyone keeps telling me I need my eyes checked, so here I am!'

Rodins rotten juggler

"Yes, but is it art?"

Roald Dahl's books updated for modern sensitivities.

"It's a cautionary tale about why we shouldn't cut arts funding in schools."

McCartney art exhibition: 'The only reason they gave him the show is because he's got a famous daughter'

Information Security

'Okey, suit yourself but I saw the library book move.'

'This one's titled, 'Artist's Block'.'

Actualities - Artists abusing permission to exhibit more than three pictures this year

Lady mimics The Scream.

"So you're an investor who dabbles in art? I happen to be an artist who dabbles in money."

"Oh, John, if only we could be sure it's love and not just the spell of this place!"

"You have indeed purchased an original Rembrandt. A Ralph Rembrandt."

I paint landscapes to cleanse my palette.