Culture Guru Gifts

The sunglasses.

"It really speaks to me, and it's saying that I'm a philistine with no understanding of modern art!"

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

Showbiz Awards

Colour Version: Living by the Clock

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

Here and There Trays

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

'She's so put together!'

A women in a shoeshop.

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

Keeping warm.

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

"I understand this diner has quite a reputation."

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Time Machine Collision

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

"Absolutely not!"

The Kitchen area of a Whitechapel Boarding House

Film Festival. Events. Screenings. Ernie attends these festivals in costume. He's gone over to the dork side!

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

'This is our bestselling power tie. Just put it on and clap twice.'

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

At the suit makers

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

'Do you like my little black number?'

Mr Metrosexual.