Cultural Funster Pillows

The real reason the Chinese emperor built the great wall.

Billy Connelly.

'Protein, starch, vegetable??? When you said 'square meal' I thought PIZZA IN A BOX!'

Cheeze Wiz.

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

In-House Entertainment Consists Of Man Riding Pizza Cutter Cutting Giant Pizza While Making a Pizza

"Are you ready to engage with rock-rased content?"

The Horse Jump - One girl makes it over, the other is cover in leaves.

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

"A raise? You want me to give you a raise? Do I look like f*ckin' Santa Claus?"

Pirates

Leopards do change their spots

Santa Randy was fired and Santa Claus got the job.

"I don't like to complain, but this cud is a bit overchewed."

The TROU of the Baroque

"The water for your fishbowl was approved, but it looks like for now you're not getting the fish."

Woman with blouse zipped up to varying degrees. Arrows read, 'single,' 'married, 'happily married.'

"That's right, Robert. Santa sends us a copy of his naughty and nice list, and we send him our students' grades."

Cow asks the horse for the carrot.

"Psychiatric emergency service? Please come fast, I have one here who believes in me!"

Memories of Souvenirs and Memorabilia.

"I'm sorry, but I assumed it was a fancy dress costume..."

Actualities - Artists abusing permission to exhibit more than three pictures this year

The last of the mullet.

'I understand that you only use your vehicle once a year, Mr. Claus, but you drive over a million miles that night. That's why your premium is so high.'

New York City Santa with huge bag hails cab.

'Frankly, I think his caroling was better before he launched a solo career.'

Food Science Lab. There's jealousy among the peanut butter molecules. "Smooth" does out all the time and "chunky" can't get a date.

'I'm not hopeful about my presents Mum - when I asked him, he didn't even know our address.'

The animal and plant kingdoms unite to send to you Season's Greetings.

Dressed as Tins

'Sorry I Ate the Cookies Last Year.'

'The sun'll be up soon. Can I go downstairs now?'

"Thank you and feel free to download the appropriate holiday greeting from my website."

"My dad didn't get what he wanted for Christmas, so he went into his usual rage-display! So embarrassing..."