Religious Funster Pillows

"Thy will be one, but also, I have some notes."

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

"These few weeks off school have convinced me that I'm definitely a stay-at-home kid."

'The puppy just downloaded on your computer keyboard.'

With Grandpa it was often a game of hide and sleep.

"You think you hate me now, but just wait until I'm old and a burden to you."

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

"Are you ready to engage with rock-rased content?"

The Horse Jump - One girl makes it over, the other is cover in leaves.

'Look. A mom with a handy carrying case.'

"Please let go of Daddy's chest hair."

'He takes after your mother' (colour)

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

"A raise? You want me to give you a raise? Do I look like f*ckin' Santa Claus?"

"How do you like my 'Pop art'?"

'Young Master and I are both turning two: How come I'm so much more mature than he is?'

'That's GRAVEN images, not GRAVY images.'

"Hello. I'm here to install the new pastor."

"The amendments are coming next week!"

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

"You spoil that boy."

'Congratulations Mrs Marrow, it's a courgette.'

"...And for anyone who forgot to bring something for the collection..."

Santa Randy was fired and Santa Claus got the job.

'Did you know that turkeys and dinosaurs are closely related? Meet my cousin, Lenny!'

'If the Lord had wanted us to use the metric system, there would have been ten apostles!'

"One day you'll thank me for embarrassing you in front of the entire Internet."