Faith Funster Pillows

"Here come those 7th Day Add-ventists. Them them we're 8-theists, and we don't believe in higher powers."

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

Cheeze Wiz.

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

"These few weeks off school have convinced me that I'm definitely a stay-at-home kid."

With Grandpa it was often a game of hide and sleep.

'The puppy just downloaded on your computer keyboard.'

"You think you hate me now, but just wait until I'm old and a burden to you."

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

'Look. A mom with a handy carrying case.'

'He takes after your mother' (colour)

"How do you like my 'Pop art'?"

'Young Master and I are both turning two: How come I'm so much more mature than he is?'

"Please let go of Daddy's chest hair."

"The amendments are coming next week!"

Sermon - why our religion is really better than yours.

'No honey, you can't sell him on ebay.'

'Look, honey, the baby's got your mouth.'

'If the Lord had wanted us to use the metric system, there would have been ten apostles!'

"You spoil that boy."

"...And for anyone who forgot to bring something for the collection..."

'Did you know that turkeys and dinosaurs are closely related? Meet my cousin, Lenny!'

'Congratulations Mrs Marrow, it's a courgette.'

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

"One day you'll thank me for embarrassing you in front of the entire Internet."

"It's the appendix to the Ten Commandments: The Ten Ultimatums."

'Mom never said she was a clown!'

Remote-controlled Popemobile.

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

Dang, another calling. This time, Avon.

Naughty kids watching TV and telling their slack dad to go back to his kennel.

'If there are any current employees traveling with children or siblings or cousins or nephews or...'