Faith-based Funster Pillows

God's Wrath Level: high.

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

Cheeze Wiz.

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

"These few weeks off school have convinced me that I'm definitely a stay-at-home kid."

With Grandpa it was often a game of hide and sleep.

'The puppy just downloaded on your computer keyboard.'

"You think you hate me now, but just wait until I'm old and a burden to you."

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

The Horse Jump - One girl makes it over, the other is cover in leaves.

'Look. A mom with a handy carrying case.'

"How do you like my 'Pop art'?"

'Young Master and I are both turning two: How come I'm so much more mature than he is?'

'He takes after your mother' (colour)

"Please let go of Daddy's chest hair."

"The amendments are coming next week!"

'Let there be cool.'

'No honey, you can't sell him on ebay.'

'Look, honey, the baby's got your mouth.'

'If the Lord had wanted us to use the metric system, there would have been ten apostles!'

'Did you know that turkeys and dinosaurs are closely related? Meet my cousin, Lenny!'

'Congratulations Mrs Marrow, it's a courgette.'

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

"You spoil that boy."

"...And for anyone who forgot to bring something for the collection..."

"One day you'll thank me for embarrassing you in front of the entire Internet."

'Mom never said she was a clown!'

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

"It's the appendix to the Ten Commandments: The Ten Ultimatums."

Remote-controlled Popemobile.

Dang, another calling. This time, Avon.

Naughty kids watching TV and telling their slack dad to go back to his kennel.

"He took up birdwatching during lockdown."