Faith-based Funster Pillows

God's Wrath Level: high.

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

"These few weeks off school have convinced me that I'm definitely a stay-at-home kid."

'The puppy just downloaded on your computer keyboard.'

With Grandpa it was often a game of hide and sleep.

"You think you hate me now, but just wait until I'm old and a burden to you."

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

The Horse Jump - One girl makes it over, the other is cover in leaves.

'Look. A mom with a handy carrying case.'

'Young Master and I are both turning two: How come I'm so much more mature than he is?'

'He takes after your mother' (colour)

"How do you like my 'Pop art'?"

"Please let go of Daddy's chest hair."

"The amendments are coming next week!"

'Let there be cool.'

"You spoil that boy."

'If the Lord had wanted us to use the metric system, there would have been ten apostles!'

"...And for anyone who forgot to bring something for the collection..."

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

'Did you know that turkeys and dinosaurs are closely related? Meet my cousin, Lenny!'

'Congratulations Mrs Marrow, it's a courgette.'

"One day you'll thank me for embarrassing you in front of the entire Internet."

'Mom never said she was a clown!'

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

"It's the appendix to the Ten Commandments: The Ten Ultimatums."

Dang, another calling. This time, Avon.

Naughty kids watching TV and telling their slack dad to go back to his kennel.

'If there are any current employees traveling with children or siblings or cousins or nephews or...'

"He took up birdwatching during lockdown."