Medical Funster Pillows

"I'm hoping my stethoscope is broken."

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

Cheeze Wiz.

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

Virtual Doctor

"I didn't say my dog ate my homework. I said Russian bots ate my homework."

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

Doctor to patient: 'While I'm back here, let's try a little something I learned when I was a ventriloquist.'

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

"These few weeks off school have convinced me that I'm definitely a stay-at-home kid."

With Grandpa it was often a game of hide and sleep.

'The puppy just downloaded on your computer keyboard.'

"You think you hate me now, but just wait until I'm old and a burden to you."

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

"Are you ready to engage with rock-rased content?"

The Horse Jump - One girl makes it over, the other is cover in leaves.

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

'Look. A mom with a handy carrying case.'

Cardiologist Henry Weil like to add some levity before surgery by hiding a whoopee cushion on the operating table.

'I love it when you say - 'I'm going to print money'.'

'Young Master and I are both turning two: How come I'm so much more mature than he is?'

'Don't worry about your heart - it will last you till the end of your days. . .!'

'He takes after your mother' (colour)

"How do you like my 'Pop art'?"

"...but do not take Clynkovix if you are already taking any other drug with a ridiculous name."

"Please let go of Daddy's chest hair."

Wall Street Money Never Sleeps. They've obviously never seen my investment portfolio.

10 Days Without an Interest Rate Change

'I'll have another flu shot.'

'No honey, you can't sell him on ebay.'