Pharmaceutical Funster Pillows

'Perhaps the reason test drug CYM1570268 kills mice, but not people is because mice are different from people.' 'And he'll probably win a Nobel Prize for that theory.'

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

"These few weeks off school have convinced me that I'm definitely a stay-at-home kid."

'The puppy just downloaded on your computer keyboard.'

With Grandpa it was often a game of hide and sleep.

"You think you hate me now, but just wait until I'm old and a burden to you."

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

"Are you ready to engage with rock-rased content?"

The Horse Jump - One girl makes it over, the other is cover in leaves.

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

'Look. A mom with a handy carrying case.'

"How do you like my 'Pop art'?"

"Please let go of Daddy's chest hair."

"...but do not take Clynkovix if you are already taking any other drug with a ridiculous name."

'Young Master and I are both turning two: How come I'm so much more mature than he is?'

'He takes after your mother' (colour)

'I'll have another flu shot.'

'Congratulations Mrs Marrow, it's a courgette.'

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

"You spoil that boy."

'Did you know that turkeys and dinosaurs are closely related? Meet my cousin, Lenny!'

"The water for your fishbowl was approved, but it looks like for now you're not getting the fish."

"One day you'll thank me for embarrassing you in front of the entire Internet."

'Mom never said she was a clown!'

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

Actualities - Artists abusing permission to exhibit more than three pictures this year

"Psychiatric emergency service? Please come fast, I have one here who believes in me!"