Formulaic Funster Pillows

"...so he comes back into the room, he turns around, he puts the chicken on the table and he says, "All right, potassium chloride.""

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'

Cheeze Wiz.

"Are you ready to engage with rock-rased content?"

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

'I love it when you say - 'I'm going to print money'.'

"A raise? You want me to give you a raise? Do I look like f*ckin' Santa Claus?"

Wall Street Money Never Sleeps. They've obviously never seen my investment portfolio.

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

10 Days Without an Interest Rate Change

"Goodbye cruel world."

Santa Randy was fired and Santa Claus got the job.

'Don't panic, folks! It's red ink, not blood!

Football

"This place has a water view if you're looking at the mortgage."

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

Ten business commandments, city trading floor

'That's much better.'

"That's right, Robert. Santa sends us a copy of his naughty and nice list, and we send him our students' grades."

"By now, you've probably noticed that around here, money talks and you-know-what walks!"

Actualities - Artists abusing permission to exhibit more than three pictures this year

Investments: Still Open to New Investors - 'A fool & his money fund.'

'I wonder if I can declare you as dependents on my income taxes?'

What's 'Bitcoin'?

Cow asks the horse for the carrot.

"I hate it when he makes snow angels in his bonus."

"He put the 'fun' in funding."

'I understand that you only use your vehicle once a year, Mr. Claus, but you drive over a million miles that night. That's why your premium is so high.'

New York City Santa with huge bag hails cab.

'Frankly, I think his caroling was better before he launched a solo career.'

Is this money for booze?

"Our firm doesn't have any money problems to speak of. Just lack of money problems."

Colloso-Corp. Do you want our "generally accepted accounting practices" to show a profit or loss last quarter? (Published previously on Feb. 13, 2002.)