Formal Funster Pillows

"Are you ready to engage with rock-rased content?"

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

Cheeze Wiz.

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

The Horse Jump - One girl makes it over, the other is cover in leaves.

"A raise? You want me to give you a raise? Do I look like f*ckin' Santa Claus?"

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

Pirates

The TROU of the Baroque

Santa Randy was fired and Santa Claus got the job.

"That's right, Robert. Santa sends us a copy of his naughty and nice list, and we send him our students' grades."

Actualities - Artists abusing permission to exhibit more than three pictures this year

Cow asks the horse for the carrot.

"I'm sorry, but I assumed it was a fancy dress costume..."

The last of the mullet.

"Psychiatric emergency service? Please come fast, I have one here who believes in me!"

'I understand that you only use your vehicle once a year, Mr. Claus, but you drive over a million miles that night. That's why your premium is so high.'

New York City Santa with huge bag hails cab.

'Frankly, I think his caroling was better before he launched a solo career.'

'We find the defendant to be TOAST.'

'Sorry I Ate the Cookies Last Year.'

Person playing the cymbals.

"Thank you and feel free to download the appropriate holiday greeting from my website."

'I'm not hopeful about my presents Mum - when I asked him, he didn't even know our address.'

'The sun'll be up soon. Can I go downstairs now?'

"My dad didn't get what he wanted for Christmas, so he went into his usual rage-display! So embarrassing..."

Dressed as Tins

The animal and plant kingdoms unite to send to you Season's Greetings.

"They had their names removed using the right to be forgotten."

'For the first time in ages, Rudolph the red nosed reindeer faced some stiff competition from Ernie the energy saving reindeer'

Santa saying to shrink - "I don't believe in myself."

'Hey, don't blame me, blame PETA!'

Scientists finally cracked Santa's vocabulary.

"You know I hate you, right?"