Forensic Funster Pillows

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

'We find the defendant to be TOAST.'

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

"These few weeks off school have convinced me that I'm definitely a stay-at-home kid."

With Grandpa it was often a game of hide and sleep.

'The puppy just downloaded on your computer keyboard.'

"You think you hate me now, but just wait until I'm old and a burden to you."

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

"Are you ready to engage with rock-rased content?"

The Horse Jump - One girl makes it over, the other is cover in leaves.

'Look. A mom with a handy carrying case.'

"How do you like my 'Pop art'?"

"A raise? You want me to give you a raise? Do I look like f*ckin' Santa Claus?"

'He takes after your mother' (colour)

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

"Please let go of Daddy's chest hair."

'Young Master and I are both turning two: How come I'm so much more mature than he is?'

"You spoil that boy."

'Did you know that turkeys and dinosaurs are closely related? Meet my cousin, Lenny!'

'Congratulations Mrs Marrow, it's a courgette.'

Santa Randy was fired and Santa Claus got the job.

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

"One day you'll thank me for embarrassing you in front of the entire Internet."

"That's right, Robert. Santa sends us a copy of his naughty and nice list, and we send him our students' grades."

Actualities - Artists abusing permission to exhibit more than three pictures this year

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

'Mom never said she was a clown!'

"It's from the E.P.A., they say we have to have a non-smoking section."

Cow asks the horse for the carrot.

'I understand that you only use your vehicle once a year, Mr. Claus, but you drive over a million miles that night. That's why your premium is so high.'