Culinary Vigilante Pillows

'Do you think we will get away with it?'

Try to guess the continent dining...

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

"Number 2. Step forward please."

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

"Relax. They're just crows."

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

'Meat cooked, but carrots still hard.' Hand in pot

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

"What the heck did I do with that leftover turkey?!"

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

'What?! Not even one of you wants to see how they're made?'

Turkey Autopsy

'Which are the most popular and least popular items, and which have been on the menu the longest and shortest times?'

'When does the fridge go on a diet?'

"It's the Grammar Police! Have you been using 'your' when you should be using 'you're' again?"

"I can’t come to bed yet. I have bulbs to plant."

'You're right, Mom. Carrots did give me good eyesight. Now I can spot vegetables I don't like a mile away.'

"Are there any reports of illness at this table?"

"'Tofu'? Qu'est-ce que c'est 'tofu'?"

'There's a gleam in his eye!'

'This always seems to happen on your night to cook.'

'I'm sorry, I can't reveal my sauce.'

The History of Anti-stick

"Dumb ass, huh! Well there's more than one way to grill a thick sausage."

'Don't give up Albert - one of these cans has to have tuna in it!'

"Well, if you haven't seen him, do you know a good recipe for puff pastry?"

"You know, Mark, your tabouli salad makes us look bad."

"Noooo, nothing I'd really call fresh. Freshish maybe."