Culinary Vigilante Gifts

'Do you think we will get away with it?'

Revenge Food Porn

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

Try to guess the continent dining...

"He was WOK-ing in a winter wonderland."

"Number 2. Step forward please."

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

"Relax. They're just crows."

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

'Meat cooked, but carrots still hard.' Hand in pot

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

"What the heck did I do with that leftover turkey?!"

'What?! Not even one of you wants to see how they're made?'

Woman reads Nigella Lawson cook book: 'Add butter to the mixture, remembering to moisten your lips ... whisk for three to four minutes, pouting throughout ...'

Turkey Autopsy

'When does the fridge go on a diet?'

"I can’t come to bed yet. I have bulbs to plant."

'Which are the most popular and least popular items, and which have been on the menu the longest and shortest times?'

"It's the Grammar Police! Have you been using 'your' when you should be using 'you're' again?"

'You're right, Mom. Carrots did give me good eyesight. Now I can spot vegetables I don't like a mile away.'

"Are there any reports of illness at this table?"

"'Tofu'? Qu'est-ce que c'est 'tofu'?"

'There's a gleam in his eye!'

"Whoever did this was chillingly methodical about it."

Mr. Cranky Pants Plants A garden Part 7

'I'm sorry, I can't reveal my sauce.'

'This always seems to happen on your night to cook.'

The History of Anti-stick

"Dumb ass, huh! Well there's more than one way to grill a thick sausage."

'Don't give up Albert - one of these cans has to have tuna in it!'

"Well, if you haven't seen him, do you know a good recipe for puff pastry?"