Culinary Tv Fan Gifts

'Does this thing get channel four.'

"I got a dish, but it only picks up the Food Channel."

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"Then add one extra large egg..."

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

'Wait, wait, before you mix them, you have to say, 'Pow!'.'

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

Now we know --- It's good for making toast, not good for heating up meatloaf!

"That's two tossed salads, one egg drop soup, and one pulled pork."

"Look at the size of this gas bill - you'll have to get rid of some of those celebrity chefs!!"

"Apologies for the delay. Your eggs Benedict should be up soon."

"Hmmm, I'm not sure – I’ll ask our chef when he sobers up."

Cafe offers corn several ways.

Road Kill Cafe.

'By the time I'd watched Delia and Ainsley and Jamie Oliver and Floyd...I'd spoiled the broth.'

Chefs

Cedric instantly regretted 'pumping up the jam...'

Nigella Lawson

"With this table monitor, you can watch the chefs prepare your meal. Look, another slice of frozen lasagna being microwaved."

"I should have never let you watch those cooking shows on TV!"

Hand coming out of chandelier pulls cover off waiter's food.

'I think the microwave has finally given up the ghost.'

Those who bought my cookbook with the transposed pages will get a refund. Those who actually enjoy Lobster Alfredo a la mode - bon app

'Ready, steady, Operate'

'Now his mother's gone, she's nowhere to slink off to and watch tripe on t'telly!

"Fancy a take-a-way tonight ?"

The Cheese God

"Curl your fingers to avoid cuts when slicing or chopping...I learned that trick on a TV cooking show!"

"Hate to break it to you, buddy, but I'm your better in every way - spicier, zestier, more fun, and Latino."

RADA canteen, "Lead roll, support rolls"

'It's indigestion due to your lifestyle, you're watching too many T.V. cookery shows.'

'Waiter, please bring that glass of water soon.'

'Whoever called this job WAITING obviously never did it!'

"Pepper spray?"