Culinary Tv Fan Gifts

'Does this thing get channel four.'

"I got a dish, but it only picks up the Food Channel."

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

"Then add one extra large egg..."

'Wait, wait, before you mix them, you have to say, 'Pow!'.'

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

"Look at the size of this gas bill - you'll have to get rid of some of those celebrity chefs!!"

"Apologies for the delay. Your eggs Benedict should be up soon."

"Hmmm, I'm not sure – I’ll ask our chef when he sobers up."

Cafe offers corn several ways.

Road Kill Cafe.

Cedric instantly regretted 'pumping up the jam...'

"With this table monitor, you can watch the chefs prepare your meal. Look, another slice of frozen lasagna being microwaved."

Those who bought my cookbook with the transposed pages will get a refund. Those who actually enjoy Lobster Alfredo a la mode - bon app

'I think the microwave has finally given up the ghost.'

Hand coming out of chandelier pulls cover off waiter's food.

'Ready, steady, Operate'

'Now his mother's gone, she's nowhere to slink off to and watch tripe on t'telly!

"I should have never let you watch those cooking shows on TV!"

Chefs

"Fancy a take-a-way tonight ?"

The Cheese God

'It's indigestion due to your lifestyle, you're watching too many T.V. cookery shows.'

"Curl your fingers to avoid cuts when slicing or chopping...I learned that trick on a TV cooking show!"

'Celebrity chef' 'Celery chef'

'Waiter, please bring that glass of water soon.'

"Pepper spray?"

"Look, I’m sorry - it’s not Asian fusion night!"

'Whoever called this job WAITING obviously never did it!'

RADA canteen, "Lead roll, support rolls"

"Hate to break it to you, buddy, but I'm your better in every way - spicier, zestier, more fun, and Latino."