Culinary Punchlines Gifts

Small Business Advisor - Sports Training in the Restaurant Business.

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"I don't want to fork. I just want to spoon."

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'Your French dip, sir.'

"States of tofu"

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Chez Nous Menu

Soup of the month.

"That's it. We’re toast."

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

6 Brothers Falafel

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

Night of the Latkes

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

"Tia Carmen, is it okay if my study group meets here tomorrow?"

"Ninja bread men"

"Would you like some wings?"

Wife: 'Ah, honey.....why are you covered in raw fish and rice?' Husband: 'Oh I was running late for the 6:15 and got on a darn sush train by mistake!'

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

Wok. Don't Wok.

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

Cookbooks