Culinary Commentator Gifts

'With the businessman's lunch, sir, you're expected to leave a little soft money for the political parties.'

Man with a 'menu', woman with a 'womenu'.

"It's called 'Mom's spinach casserole'."

"If only the aftertaste came first."

"Combination No. 5--no MSG."

Empty landscape containing food and stationery.

'I've never seen so many chinese restaurants.'

"Well I don't like frozen bread. I come from a culture of soft bread. Yours are hard-breaded people."

'Fashion prevails!'

'Yes, but is it tart?'

"No thank you they give me projectile vomiting"

'Apparently, in the kitchen it is more masculine not to use a power tool.'

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'Your French dip, sir.'

"I don't want to fork. I just want to spoon."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"States of tofu"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

Chez Nous Menu

6 Brothers Falafel

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

Cookbooks