Culinary Critique Enthusiast Gifts

Trends of 2000

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

View to the Future

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Is the MSG local?"

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Too much cilantro

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"It's good to know she was butchered for a noble cause."

Countervailing Clichés.

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"Hey! There's a hair in my soup!"

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

'Someone's been tampering with this chicken. It tastes like chicken.'

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

"We've both made mistakes, Doug, but I consider the appetizers to be a thing of the past."

"No, my consomme was perfect, but my husbands calamari is a little underdone."

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"