Culinary Critique Enthusiast Gifts

Trends of 2000

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

View to the Future

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Too much cilantro

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Is the MSG local?"

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

Countervailing Clichés.

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

"We've both made mistakes, Doug, but I consider the appetizers to be a thing of the past."

"Hey! There's a hair in my soup!"

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

'Someone's been tampering with this chicken. It tastes like chicken.'

"All dishes marked with an asterisk are served with sarcasm. . ."

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

"No, my consomme was perfect, but my husbands calamari is a little underdone."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"

Happy hour.

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."