Culinary Newbie Gifts

"Other than leaving the lid off the blender, I think my first smoothie went rather well!"

"My husband and I have decided to share each other's interests. He's at home burning the dinner."

"Oh we're fine, my husbands just learning to cook during the quarantine."

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

Baker Romance

'I was in the catering corps.'

Restaurant Chef with book titled: 'Introduction To Cooking'.

Feast

"What's happened to Quiche?"

The Perfect Foil

"Room for dessert, folks?"

"I’ll have something for you as soon as Table Seven sees the entrée prices."

Doctor uses thermometer to check chicken.

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

The Inexperienced Cook

Cookery Lesson.

Great moments in 'Haute Cuisine'. . . America gives the world the Donut Sandwich.

"Was there a photo in the recipe book? I'd love to see what it's meant to look like."

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

The perfect man

'Order fast, folks - the prices have an expiration date.'