Kitchen Newbie Gifts

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

Come dine with me!

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

'It's all homemade.'

"Oh we're fine, my husbands just learning to cook during the quarantine."

"Oh no I left my bagpipes in the oven."

The Inexperienced Cook

'Meat cooked, but carrots still hard.' Hand in pot

"All new appliances, brand new subway tile backsplash and a unique kitchen island; notice those coconuts!"

"To keep prices down, we require you to cook your own food, wait in yourselves and wash your dishes."

"This new dough-maker attachment is going to pay for itself in no time.'

Cooking

...If sauce has not begun to thicken after 10 minutes, pour contents back into can and wait for your wife to get home.

'Don't fill up on milk and cookies.'

'At these prices can't you afford a kitchen?' Burner at the table

'I hope it's okay -- the cookbook had some really confusing abbreviations.'

Thank you for the wedding present.

AI Toaster: "What's Einstein's famous equation?"

'Continue gently simmering for ten minutes...'

"Despite countless assurances from his wife, mother and 'foodie' friends, Ed still did not trust the crock pot."

'I wish somebody would invent the TABLE!'

"Yes...it may not be the Ritz, Rupert old chum but it's all good home cooked fare!"

"I'm making Thanksgiving dinner this year. Do you have Turkey Helper?"

'And best of all, he really enjoys it.'

'How much just to feel sorry for it?'

'I just need enough to send my Dad to cookery lessons!'

Whistling Kettle

'So this is a kitchen!'

'Someone's in the kitcehn with Din-ah, someone's in the kitcehn I kno-o-o-ow...'

A seafood restaurants has live fish swimming around its kitchen.

"Sorry about the excessive saffron — the Jets fumbled on their own 20."