Kitchen Newbie Gifts

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

Come dine with me!

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

"Oh we're fine, my husbands just learning to cook during the quarantine."

'It's all homemade.'

"Oh no I left my bagpipes in the oven."

'Meat cooked, but carrots still hard.' Hand in pot

The Inexperienced Cook

"All new appliances, brand new subway tile backsplash and a unique kitchen island; notice those coconuts!"

Cooking

"This new dough-maker attachment is going to pay for itself in no time.'

"To keep prices down, we require you to cook your own food, wait in yourselves and wash your dishes."

...If sauce has not begun to thicken after 10 minutes, pour contents back into can and wait for your wife to get home.

'Don't fill up on milk and cookies.'

Thank you for the wedding present.

AI Toaster: "What's Einstein's famous equation?"

'At these prices can't you afford a kitchen?' Burner at the table

'I hope it's okay -- the cookbook had some really confusing abbreviations.'

'Continue gently simmering for ten minutes...'

"Yes...it may not be the Ritz, Rupert old chum but it's all good home cooked fare!"

'I wish somebody would invent the TABLE!'

"Despite countless assurances from his wife, mother and 'foodie' friends, Ed still did not trust the crock pot."

"I'm making Thanksgiving dinner this year. Do you have Turkey Helper?"

'Ahh, but it's a Dyson saltshaker.'

'And best of all, he really enjoys it.'

'How much just to feel sorry for it?'

'I just need enough to send my Dad to cookery lessons!'

'So this is a kitchen!'

Whistling Kettle

"My husband and I have decided to share each other's interests. He's at home burning the dinner."

A seafood restaurants has live fish swimming around its kitchen.